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| hello xanga world!
for the first time today, i thought..hmm. writing on xanga is almost like..talking to myself! sigh* i donno how much longer i'll be updating on xanga, but i have to share some funny moments with my kiddos today.
i taught my students to say "finished" when they are done with their work. but some kids dont know how to say "finished"... they either pronunce it like "fi-ni-SHI" or some kids just dont say anything...but today, one BRAVE boy shouted, "TEACHER, ME FISH!!!!" instead of saying finished! it was SOO Cute!
and one 4th grader asked his friends if they knew what U.S.A stood for, so he asked, "Do you know the long way to say U.S.A?" and they answered, "Yea! UUUUUUUUUUU SSSSSSSSSSSss AAAAAAAAAAAAA!" hahah it was soo funny. 
and one 4th grader asked his friend to slap him for some odd reason, during class. So the friend slapped him and the boy was on the verge of tears and his cheek got ALL red. boys.... i'lll never understand. 
cute, eh? :]
I'll be home in August! See you soon~~
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| it's crazy what people will do to learn English. i guess i dont realize the urgency and importance of English in Korea.
One of my students goes to a Mormon church to learn English for 30 minutes from a Native speaker, but she has to go to church every Sunday for this favor. She shared with me that she's not a mormon and that she believes in God, but she goes so she can learn English.
I dono what to think.
there's gotta be a better way....
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| please..excuse me. i was tagged by lpk and i am..incredibly bored, so this will be a light hearted updated about 25 random things.
1. I have a hoodie with my face on it- it was a present, i promise.
2. I know im addicted to coffee because black coffee tastes horrible, but i HAVE to have black coffee in the morning.
3. I am secretly addicted to all of the "america's next top ___________" shows. My recent favorite is america's most smartest model. its so...stupid, but entertaining.
4. coffee/tea + cake are the simplest pleasures in life.
5. I like dried persimmons, but watch out. too much will hurt the tummy!
6. My big toe nail has fallen off twice in one year.
7. There's a game called Heximania and its a GREAT word game for all you word game nerds out there.
ok, just kidding. 25 is too many. 7 will have to do.
lucky 7!
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| comments from kiddos that leave me..speechless.
(these convos were all in English)
student: Teacher, you are beautiful. now give me candy!
student: Teacher, I love you. give me sticker!
5th grade boy: Movie, movie, movie!!!
me: NO!! ( and i put on my mean face)
5th grade boy: (starts tearing up and walks away)
me: ....  really??
i cannot believe i made the boy tear up! and i just discovered that i have a mean teacher face! Ejk told me that theres such thing as a "screaming teacher syndrome." maybe that explains why i keep losing my voice!
i have special english classes after lunch, and i've created some ridiculous games for us to play.
for example
1. roll a piece of construction paper and tape it up so it looks like a hitting stick.
2. blow up a balloon and tie the knot.
3. have students play balloon badminton and everytime they hit the balloon, they have to say one english word.
isnt this..ridiculous? but they love it!!!
Oh, the joys of being a teacher.
i'm not a terrible teacher... really.
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i think one of my favorite lines is, "its ok" or "it'll be ok"
and there are times when i trick myself to genuinely believe this idea that...everything's ok. reality is.. its not! but, im so good at emotionally convincing myself that.. every thing is ok. and i like..put myself in this happy bubble and float in it for awhile until it pops and then, i dont know what to do. so i try to convince myself again, i'm back in the bubble for a couple of weeks, and it pops again. its an ugly, unreal cycle that i've created for myself.
and the thing is... i JUST realized this!
i think i've tried to spiritualize this abnormal (or possibly normal) behavior by reading a simple quiet time, or one verse and then, bam! i'm back in the bubble! Granted, His words are good and has power to do so, but... I just settle for that emotional boost. i dont let His words penetrate or go deeper. I've been settling with His words and just allowed it to be a simple emotional booster for me. I think i let His words simply settle because, it.. feels good. and then i think..do i have ANY IDEA how much more depth and love there are in His words and in his voice? yet i just..settle?
its like.. settling and getting all giggly by getting a cheap compliment from a guy such as "oh, youre cute" rather than, hearing and seeing a full blown up expression of his love for me that leaves me... utterly speechless and overwhelmed x 10000 x 10000 or i think thats how it is. I'm not sure.. i dont think i have the slightest clue as to what im settling from. If i really knew, would i settle? Could i settle? Would i want to settle? i dont want to settle, i want more!
it's hard. but, i'm realizing... i need to fight! i cant coast anymore and live in this cycle..i need to fight. i need to fight to allow God to speak truths to me each day. I need to fight to live out my purpose here. I need to fight to let Him lead rather than just coasting. i LOVE coasting...because its so much more comfortable but there's no joy.. i need to fight!
all in all, i write.. because I need prayer.
and please check up on me and ask me if im fighting, because i dont want to answer "its ok" anymore.
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